The Secret Pleasures of Menopause

I am perplexed by Northrop’s book. In chapter 2, she claims that prolactin is “the hormone of bonding” and that it “makes you feel bonded to the person (or people) you’re interacting with at the time.” My husband and I have been tracking research on the hormones related to mating neurochemistry for years. Researchers agree that oxytocin, not prolactin, is the “bonding hormone.”

We think Northrop’s right that the pleasurable feelings from connecting with others are very healthful, but oxytocin, not prolactin, is probably the reason. Indeed, prolactin (which rises after orgasm in both men and woman) may be more closely related to unpleasant mood swings. For example, men with high prolactin levels sometimes report low libido, headaches, erectile dysfunction, and anxiety. Women report similar symptoms. In one study, three quarters of women with unexplained high prolactin levels were suffering from depression, anxiety, and hostility.

This brings me to Northrop’s indirect suggestion that masturbation is an ideal source of good feelings for women because of the short-term changes it produces in the body (endorphins and nitric oxide). Unfortunately, masturbation doesn’t connect us with others. It’s a solo performance. And, although sexologists aren’t yet acknowledging it, there seem to be very real differences between masturbation and intercourse. The two are not interchangeable. Consider this woman’s experience:

“It has been a year since my husband’s death and I decided to see if I was still capable of orgasm. (My husband was very sick for several years before his death, so it has been a while.) The very next morning I woke up slightly depressed. Each night I masturbated again, trying to shorten the time to climax. Each morning I woke up a bit more depressed. After a couple of weeks of this I made the connection, and stopped. The depression is now completely gone, but I’m still horny from all that masturbating. (I wasn’t at all horny before starting to masturbate.) I think that climaxing with a loved one is very different from climaxing with empty lips and vagina.”

Her experience has actually been borne out by research that links women’s masturbation with greater depression and relationship dissatisfaction–as well as less physical pleasure. In other words, those who masturbated more, showed more depression and dissatisfaction. It would be nice if orgasm were indeed a cure all, but if it were, heavy porn users would be the happiest people on the planet, and men would have been outliving women for centuries instead of the reverse.
Rating: 2 / 5
The Secret Pleasures of Menopause

I wanted to like this book, I really did. But I found it lacking in many ways. There just wasn’t a lot of good information that I didn’t already know, and in some sections it just wasn’t clear. I didn’t come away from it with a feeling that I had learned much that was new or exciting. I know this isn’t what I expected, because the book is advertised as a “breakthrough” but it certainly was not a breakthrough for me. I thought the author was just re-hashing old information from her previous books which were more informative than this one. I’m sorry to say, but I just wouldn’t waste your time or money on this book. Overall, I just feel that she didn’t put a lot into this book and it is disappointing. Normally I don’t write negative reviews, but I have to agree with some of the other writers who say that this book is a letdown.
Rating: 1 / 5
The Secret Pleasures of Menopause